Todos Los Santos

People will trek to the sementeryo over the weekend to remember those who have passed on. Adda da tatay, nanay ken uncle & auntie idiay Agno.

Many of our relatives will be there to clean the pantion, light a candle, say a prayer and socialize with other family members. Funny but relatives would just see each other idiay natayan. My family in Manila will be with Papa at Holy Cross Memorial Park. I will not be there to visit him - instead I will be here where I am to say my prayers. It has been a year and a half since he passed on. I was not there with him and my family on those days.
Instead my brother and my sister together with my sister in law took on the responsibilities of seeing him through and being with mama all the time. I had it so easy. I did not have to handle the difficulties of emotional turmoil. All I did was pack my bags and go home to Manila when I was informed of his passing. Cecil, Erich & Becky took care of the painful details of the funeral arrangements. The flowers were exquisite and the religious were generous with their time to say mass everyday. Our relatives and friends came to condole. After he was laid to rest and all has been said and done, all I did was pack my bags again and come back here where everything was back to normal and nothing has been displaced.

My life just went on as usual. I went back to my chores and routine. Ngem isso da nga nabati idiay, especially Mama, life will never be the same.

I have struggled with these feelings and guilt for a long time. It has never been easy. This blog is a sorry excuse for me to perpetuate the memory. I will never do any justice in the manner of passing on the stories Papa & Mama shared with me. It will never be the same. The local color and inanities of papa will always be missing. All I can do is to pass on these stories. Pass these on maybe not in its entire context but the part that would make us all look back with fondness - dagiti malagip tayo. Do not make these anecdotes fade in time. There has got to be a more productive way for me to deal with my mourning. I'm so sorry to rant. Dios Ti Agngina.